Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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