Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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