you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize