I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
