some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
