I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
