I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
