you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Bring me that man meat
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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