Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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