he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
