dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
dude. I can hear the air.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
