My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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