How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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