He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
