I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
