This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
