My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
