Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
