I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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