No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
