home. puking in laundry basket.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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