But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
