I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
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Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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