It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You have to summon your inner elephant
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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