I want to have your abortion
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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