what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
