I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
