there's paper in my vomit.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
