Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
