Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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