Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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