Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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