so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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