what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
