it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
