sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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