I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
