I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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