jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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