just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
