STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
