Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
