i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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