I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
