Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
