Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Drunk is not a location!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
