didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
