Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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