this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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