I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
