oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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