is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
