i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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