then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
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He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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