You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
