i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
