i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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