You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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