i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
